Ferndale Dad

Name:
Location: Ferndale, Michigan, United States

Friday, November 04, 2005

As Long As I'm Caffeinated...

I might as well posit some excuses. Thus, how I pissed away hours during which I could have been writing:
1. Surrendering to the Force
2. Debating the best line from “Hot For Teacher” (Currently settled on “I don’t feel tardy”)
3. Wondering if I was right in thinking that Alternative to Love really is better than One Misissippi
4. Telling variations of the Baby Polar Bear joke to all who will listen"Polar Bear"

"A young polar bear came into his den and asked his mother, "Mom am I a real polar bear?" "Of course you are." His mother replied. The young polar bear asked his father. "Dad, am I a real polar bear?" "Yes, you are a real polar bear." A week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, "Are grandma and grandpa real polar bears?" "Yes" said his parents. Another week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, "Are all my relatives real polar bears?" "Yes, they are all real polar bears." Said his parents. "Why do you ask?" replied his mother. "Because," said the young polar bear, "I'm fucking freezing!"

5. Comparing Skyscrapers the World Over
6. Trying to figure out just how fucked we are (see also bird flu, Scooter Libby, Sam Alito, podcasting, blogs, rosa Parks' funeral being turned into a willy-nilly specatcle of political agendas and rambling diatribes by Jesse Jackson about the Auburn Tigers football team...)
7. Indoctrinating my son and daughter (a Pirate and Elmo, respectively) into the demonic ritual of begging for candy from strangers while hoping they’ll never actually take candy from strangers while hoping that one day, we can watch Stranger With Candy together and laugh and laugh.
8. Furthering the discussion of Detroit’s future
9. Listening to Mugglecast and Democracy Now Podcasts in my car on the way home from work, kicking myself for not yet owning an iPod (no, seriously, I don’t own one yet. So what about it?! Huh?! Where you goin’ now playa?!?! Did your mommy drive you to the rock ‘n’ roll concert?!?) – Memo to self: Bullies suck.
10. Meditating on the meaning of such phrases as “My words went away, pa. They went to Texas.” And “I feel like I have snowballs in my bones.”

Speaking of Inspirations

Ho-lee shite!
Downtime at day job + Google + Beleiver Magazine offering the occasional full archive piece = Lo productivity.
Except, lo pro in this case means a virtual communion with Mark Mothersbaugh. What kind of steering wheel does that dude have in his mind that keeps him on such an even, awesome keel? Sheesh.
Interview includes recollections of Devo opening for Sun Ra at a Halloween party, observations on well-fed squirrels on a Disney studio lot, still-salient thoughts on consumerist culture.
First pull-quote re: above-cited party:
“ALL OF A SUDDEN, DRUNK MUMMIES WERE SHAKING THEIR FISTS AT US. DRACULAS WERE SHOUTING OBSCENITIES AT US. THAT MADE US EVEN HAPPIER, AND PISSED THEM OFF EVEN MORE. IT MADE US FEEL WE HAD TO BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT TO GET SO MANY PEOPLE PISSED OFF.”
Back to the front. L8.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I Am Officially A Man Of Letters

I know all 26 of them now.
That's a joke I paraphrased/stole from Kurt Vonnegut. I hope he doesn't die too soon.
More postage lates.